i wonder sometimes what it feels like to be beautiful...

am i ugly, u ask??

oh no ..no...just self delusional...

well this is awkward....
very awkward...

the control is coming back...i wonder why i let it go...

emotions...they cause havoc...so intense...so uncontrolled...left loose , wild , untamed....

thoughts...left on their own...wander and mix and become unfocused...

i wonder what is wrong with me...
why am i such a mess??

when the day ends...i'm still waiting for something...when will you be here...

or maybe m just suffering from obsessive disorder of sorts..

but there is something really wrong with me...

no posts for some days now...have been away...have been happy...but today

today you killed a little bit of me again, man.

the self doubt, the loneliness all came crushing down again...

but m a bit different now...more stronger..indifferent even...

m paying ffor thinking so high and so much...something you are not...will never be..someone i always want...

you say you are insecure...that i will go away...

you should be..m not gonna stay...not like this...

i guess its time to be strong...be brave and all that...and get what i want...but then
....its not easy...its not difficult either...but there are clashess...mindsets...loneliness....i guess thass what winners are made of...

two more shots...jus two more....